Question:

Hi Gwen. I’m not sure how to ask what I need to ask but maybe you’ll know what I mean anyway.

Lately I’ve been feeling this ‘disconnect’ with my horse. Well, really with myself, as well. Things are just seeming to feel esoteric and not quite balanced. I’m feeling angry and dissatisfied much of the time and find myself being snappy and quick with my husband, kids and even with my horse. He doesn’t even want to be with me at this point and my rides are totally out of sync. I know he’s not  liking our ride times and is really giving me a hard time. Balky and stubborn and evasive. Even just getting a halter on him right now is difficult and argumentative. I don’t know if its something wrong with him or if we’re just growing out of connection. I’m almost crying as I write this to you and hoping you’ll have something that can help me. What can I do?  –Laura, WI

Answer:

Hey Laura! 🙂

Sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated and confused right now. I’m sorry!  I know that’s no fun. I think we all get in those places now and then.

While our human family members are all runnin’ around doing their own thing in their own lives with their own issues I’ve found that horses have the unique ability to help us ground ourselves – simply because THEY are grounded at all times! What does that mean?  It means they can only think and live in the ‘right now’. I help alot of horses with phobias and PTSD but in order to do so *I* have to keep myself grounded and connected to each minute of what’s going on with that horse. If I look away or take my focus off the horse with which I’m working then the connection is … poof!  Gone. And usually the horse works on ‘being gone’ too! *grin*

That’s taught me a simple lesson. One that was hard to break through but a very simple lesson.

I have to keep my thoughts, my focus and my energy zeroed in on … NOW.  The very present moment of time. No yesterday, no tomorrow, no “I shoulda, woulda, coulda, might have, maybe will” etc.  Right NOW … what is before me in time and in place.

When I go out to my herd in an agitated state of mind my horses will let me know. They’ll simply walk away from me or ignore me whereas normally they’d all come trotting up to me with nickers and smooches.  I used to think, when that happend, “Oh crap. Even my horses can’t stand me!” and I’d give up to do some chores all the while thinking and feeling more and more sorry for *me*. What didn’t happen, what might have happened, what could be, … putting myself everywhere and anywhere OTHER THAN ‘right now’ and the blessings that are right there before me, that moment.  My focus was on … me.

I learned that when my focus is on me there’s no room in my head/heart for anyone or anything else. When one thought/feeling/wish takes up your entire being then where’s the space for other people, things, thoughts?

So, I learned to mentally shift my thinking. Change my thinking. And its really that simple!

Changing thoughts.

When we’re focused on the horse with all our thought and heart then that horse is right with us. The horse NEEDS us to be connected with him. He doesn’t LIKE being alone — he’s a herd animal! And horses are connected, one with another, in spirit as well as physically. We can connect to that horse with that invisible thread, so to speak, that if we tug too hard in another thought direction, breaks. At first it may seem really hard to keep the focus. Our minds do the “Yeah, but!” thang … *grin* trying to find all the excuses in the world that will justify our feelings at that time. And yes, feelings are never right or wrong — they are what they are. But are they not the result of how we THINK?  So …

Change how you think! What you’re thinking. Focus on your HORSE rather than on the rest of the junk.

Then we’ll find that the thread that connects with the horse is really a strong one and if we keep just the right thought/focus/tension on that thread then we’ll be tightly connected with the horse and symbiotically move so fluidly WITH the horse that we’ll feel as if ‘we’re in the world but not of it.” just as God tells us in Romans 12:2,

 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God.

And what is good and pleasing and perfect will of God?

That we walk in FAITH. No fears, no worries, no ifs or “yeah buts” … we walk in FAITH.  (No! Stop the “yeah, but” right now! Just let it ‘be’.) In each moment of time — in each NOW.

Tall order and one that needs to be renewed again and again as we fall into our own humanity but once that state of mind is found?

It’s awesome!

So — change your thinking!

Ask God and ask your horse to help.

Now.

Everywhere, all the time, in every situation, but especially when with your horse. Cause its your HORSE that will tell you where you’re thinking and if ya ain’t thinkin’ on him?  *shrugs* … he’s outta there.

Change it up — change your thinking and in doing so you’ll change the situation.