Copy of a note I just sent to a group list talking about social behaviors of horses … and that ole dominance thang …

This conversation intrigues me. Only because I am truly, consciously, experiencing this level of spiritual connection with my small herd of guys and others’ horses with whom I work. After almost 50 years with horses I find myself going back to a place where I was as a little girl, ‘talking’ with the horses/animals and believing myself to almost being a horse!  *LOL* I know that the blood that runs through me is not all human – hahahahaha.  I KNOW I’m 80% Horse!

I’m not a dominating sort of person. Never have been. I’ve always been more of a wimp. *grin* — I’m not a ‘boss’. As much as I try to shut it off, the ‘empathy’ in me rears its head and I find myself ‘in the other’s shoes’. (And yes, I have been in the ‘boss’ position before as I’ve owned several of my own companies and have had to ‘employ’ help but I truly stink at being a ‘Boss’)   But with a heart that wants to help and always teach good stuff (can’t help myself in sharing good stuff!), that empathy allows me to be able to play and work with animals, particularly horses, in the most positive way – without being a ‘boss’, an ‘alpha’ but, instead, as a trusted friend and leader when needed. Other times, in situations, the horse is the leader and I ‘turn the reins over’ to him or her. It depends.

A few years ago I read a description from some cyber poster that read, “I see horses as humans in fur suits.” and it struck a deep chord in me. One that brought up that we all on this earth live in societies with different rules. We all, animals and humans,  are ‘spiritual’ beings but because of our bodies have limitations as to our communications. Dogs understand each other easily; horses understand each other easily – they have a universal species language which all can readily grasp. They even have universal social rules and behaviors common to the entire species all across the globe. Humans, on the other hand, have different cultures, different languages and … humans have souls. That part of us that tells us right from wrong. With animals, there is no right from wrong – there is just … what is. And each behavior has good reason. Not so w/humans. What might be the RIGHT thing to do in France may not be the ‘right’ thing to do in America. What might be the ‘right’ thing to do in Israel may not be the ‘right’ thing to do in Africa. So we humans have this issue of complexity in language and social behaviors.  When our daughters were going on regular Mission trips to such countries as Haiti, Jamaica, Mexico, Dominican Republic, Africa – they had to learn the peoples’ CULTURE before leaving the states – simply so they would not offend and cause some major gaffe while they were overseas.

Why is it that we humans do not take the social graces of animal cultures into account as strongly as we do other humans’ cultures?

What I’ve found, personally, is that once I accepted this understanding of the importance of the social behaviors in the Equine culture, my relationship (and yes, I DO mean relationship in the manner of which it should be spoken) with my horses, my ponies, my donkey, my goat and even every horse with whom I work, changed. Radically changed. I always ‘knew’ of the social behaviors as I’ve been an avid student of animal behavior since I could walk, but I didn’t always respect them. Being brought up, as most of us are, to believe that humans are the “superior” species – I ashamedly did enter into the realm of dominance over the horse. I WAS “the boss” (notice I use small letters for ‘the boss’ cause as I stated, I’m a terrible boss! hahahaha) But I always found that when I attempted to bully my horse into doing something that there was a pinpoint of guilt, of sadness, of ‘something’s just not right’ in the core of my soul. It was ‘wrong’. I was ‘wrong’.  But, couldn’t bring myself to trust my own gut so, instead, listened to and executed what others told me I HAD to do in order to stay safe around horses.  I now realize that it was all …

hogwash. No, .. it was all ‘H.o.g.w.a.s.h.’ with a capital “H”. 

One of the very first ‘safety rules’ I learned and subsequently taught to others when around horses was “Never go near the horse’s back end.”  … Well, shoot – tell that to one of my mares who will swing herself around in a moment’s blink and back up into me so she can get a good, sound butt-scratch! … Another was, “Never let a horse’s mouth near your body!”  Really? My Mustang mare, who when we first got her a couple of years ago would try to rip off a human face with her teeth (she was horribly abused before she came here. That’s why I picked her up – otherwise she would be in an Alpo can now) … well, her favorite greeting for me each day now is a kiss. She’ll leave her hay, come trotting up to me with a big, old, sloppy, green slime ladened muzzle and proceed to wiggle her lips on my cheek with the utmost pleasure! (The pleasure is certainly reciprocated!) then she’ll turn around when I say ‘Thankyou, Cheyenne! Hi! I love you, too!” and go back to eating her breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack/whatever.  So much for mutual grooming of the face. *LOL*  and yes, we all mutual groom – my 2 mares, my gelding, and I and sometimes my husband joins in for a nice shoulder rub, too. And in the midst of herd squabbles?  They KNOW that my space is to be respected – no physical squabbling around Mom! … When they spook from some unknown in the woods and come galloping acres up to their safety barn/space? They’ll gallop straight up to me and stop, right before me, and then start prancing and jigging around … “Mom! Mom! There’s something in the woods and its gonna get us!~ Mooooom!!!” … and if they cannot stop their forward momentum as they gallop up? They’ll go around me. I have to say, though, that having a number of 1200# + horses galloping up straight towards me in a fearful getaway can be a bit intimidating at times!  *LOL*

Here’s the glitch – or, the secret key, though – If I get it into my noggin’ that one of them H-A-S- to do something just to tickly MY fancy?  Uh-uh. They dig their hooves in, they refuse to move, or they simply walk away from me as if saying, “Sorry. When you change your witchy, bossy attitude then we’ll come back and we can ‘discuss’ this matter.” … *grin* 

If they think that I’m exploiting them in a workshop or clinic with an egotistical attitude (See what MY horses can do !?! See how well I’ve “trained” them!??) … they make me to look like an old fool every time.  But if I keep the attitude of friendship with them … then we can have a discussion about things. They will absolutely help me teach and demonstrate what truly CAN be an honest relationship with another species – with a HORSE. 

Don’t know if any of this makes sense to y’all. But thought I’d share anyway.

I’ve taken up a tagline for PENZANCE – “  I don’t train horses – I teach friends.”

And, so I do.